Another week another theme. This time it was "songs from the year of your birth." Who else thought Scotty would try to falsify his birth certificate in order to be able to belt out some lock them doors? But no time for small talk, I have to get this posted before I watch the results show!
Everyone's favorite Reggae contestant, Naima, drew the dreaded (I'll punch myself for that pun) first up slot. She surprisingly chose Tina Turner's "What's Love Got To Do With It?" I say surprisingly because it didn't seem to fit her hip hop style, and the arrangement wasn't changed drastically enough to produce a hip hop vibe. Instead we got a slightly sped up version without any of the Tina power. Even the judges didn't give her the love they're known to bestow upon everybody. Could Naima be in trouble? Possibly, although I suspect she may have earned enough of a following last week to save her.
Paul, whose voice was already raspy to the border of annoyance, was battling an illness. Look at him taking Casey's shtick! He chose Elton John's "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" and continued on his seizure dancing theme. This guy needs a guitar in his hands, badly. I didn't hate the vocal, but again his stage presence is so awkward that it's hard to focus on anything else.
Thia followed Captain Shake 'N Twitch with a video package clearly designed to show that she does in fact have a personality. But was anybody else creeped out by the painting of Grandma in her parents' clip? Puzzling, Thia chose a horrid Vanessa Williams song which she later defended by saying something along the lines of "I feel like the song mirrored what was going on in the world right now." How does colors of the wind reflect the devastation in Japan? Does she think earthquakes and tsunamis are caused by strong winds? Oh who cares what she thinks, or what she sings. This girl has no chance of making an impact on this show.
The bane of my existence aka James Durbin took the stage and tried his best to sound like Jon Bon Jovi. I thought he failed miserably. This guy seriously couldn't hold a glittery candle to Adam Lambert. He capped the desperate performance with a lame bit of pyrotechnics. The judges bathed in the brilliance that is James (gag), and he showed once again how cocky he is, claiming he's saving his Aerosmith performance "for the finale."
Haley did nothing to change my mind on how I view her. Still a nice girl who will have a short run on the show and fade into infamous Idol obscurity. What did she sing? Does she even remember? Sympathy over her makeup mess may save her another week. Oh, and kudos to Seacrest for stepping in to rescue Haley. But did he really need another reason for Joel McHale to make fun of him? I'm ready for this week's The Soup clip of "Ryan Seacrest's Makeup Tips."
Next came Stefano. I came to a startling conclusion during his video package. Jimmy Iovine is kind of a douche, and I think I love him for it. As for Stefano's performance, I have no use for it. If that vocal had any more runs - naw, I won't go there. Decent voice, but still nothing special. Stefano reminds of David Archuleta, only cocky. Bad combo, sir.
What was with Pia's jump suit? Not that I'll ever be confused with -insert fashionable person's name here...no, seriously, please do because I can't name anyone- but she's a pretty girl and that outfit was just odd. It's easy to see that Pia is staking her claim as this season's diva, but I could have done without Whitney Houston. She's just so overdone on the show. I still like her voice though. She has a McPhee feel, which doesn't bode well for her post show success, but should allow for a long stay on this season.
Scotty followed Pia with yet another country song. I don't blame him for sticking to country every time the theme allows for it, I think the dude is going to be a train wreck when he can't twang it up, but I've never been a country fan and mostly don't pay attention when he sings. He was solid, and he's not going anywhere for a long time. He does need to stay in his lower register though. He loses pitch a bit when he goes up. Oh, and at least his Travis Tritt performance gave Randy an opportunity to name drop on his career achievements!
Rosetta Stone, I mean Karen, flip flopped languages on "Love Will Lead You Back." All I can say is, what's with the hair? Its gravity defying efforts mesmerized me and made it hard to pay attention to her vocals. Or maybe it was because it was boring and a throw away. Take your ethnic what-it-is-ness elsewhere please, it's really not winning over this reviewer.
Ahh, and now Casey Abrams. I fell asleep after Karen, right? He didn't really do "Smells Like Teen Spirit." To me, it made him seem like a side show and not a singer. I grew up on Nirvana, but Kurt Cobain's lyrical stylings have no business in a singing competition.
Lauren Alaina tried to redeem herself this week with Melissa Etheridge's "I'm The Only One." The performance was good, but I still think she's much closer to a Pickler than an Underwood. And I don't like that she uses a stage name. It makes her seem even more like a prepackaged star for Idol.
Jacob, the man who never met a song he couldn't over sing closed the show. The only problem is he often goes out of key when he goes over the top. Color me unimpressed.
If you can't tell I'm still completely underwhelmed with this season. I want to like some of the contestants, I promise. Bottom three prediction (and I swear this is before watching the results): Thia, Naima and Karen. Thia goes home.
*Elimination Update*
Thia managed to avoid the bottom three. I'm really puzzled as to how. The girl has no personality and chooses putrid songs. But her day is coming soon. Karen, in case you hadn't heard, went home. No loss there, this is another down Idol year, and particularly weak with the girls; it's no coincidence that the bottom three both weeks were all girls. Pia and Lauren are the only two who have a shot at the top five in my opinion. But, like lambs to the slaughter, I'll be tuning in next week. Until then...
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