Another warp speed update comin' at ya!
So, after the judges tell contestant they are trying to figure out "what type of artist" they are, the powers that be at American Idol decide there's no better way to figure that out than....Motown Night! Seriously, did we have to dedicate the first five minutes to kissing Barry Gordy's butt again??? How many times can Idol run the same fluff piece? And I may sound like a broken record, but for a show trying to find the next great pop star, you'd think they wouldn't bother making them sing songs from a genre that's been dead for 30 years. But enough of my complaining, let's get to the singers (hmm should I put a question mark next to the word singers...).
Was anyone surprised that Casey Abrams chose "I Heard It Through The Grapevine?" I mean, what other Motown hit would give him the opportunity to snarl and say miiiine and viiiiine? This guy is seriously turning into a bad joke. Simon must be thanking his lucky stars that he didn't have to sit through a season of Casey. He's like Jack Black in Zach Galfianakis' body. He gave his usual shticky performance and the judges gave their usual useless praise. The end.
America's favorite bathroom break Thia followed Casey with a completely campy group day performance of "Heatwave." It really is saying something that she hasn't been one of the first two contestants eliminated (in case you didn't get it, the something it's saying is not good).
Jacob didn't annoy me for once. I thought he was mostly on key and I did enjoy his restraint. I still wish he'd pull it back even more, but he's a gospel singer, this is about as much reining it in as one can reasonably ask for from him. He's going to be around for a few more weeks. It certainly wasn't a performance worthy of a Steven Tyler/family/audience storming the stage moment, but hey, Idol 10.0 is nothing if not a love fest.
Lauren came out and did a Supremes classic that wasn't half bad. It wasn't half great, but at least she showed that a country artist could take a song from a different genre and not completely hickify it (keep reading for further discussion on that).
Stefano was a train wreck this week. He did Lionel Richie's horrid song, "Hello," and I think managed to hit one or two notes. I've never been a fan of his as you know, but I thought he was by far the worst of the night. Man judges, your wild cards are as bad as your outfits.
Haley came out and growled at us for a bit. It wasn't as out of tune as Stefano's vocal, but it was still too runny for me. It irritates me when Christina Aguilera throws her diva runs all over songs, and Haley's no Christina. Can't we just sing a song sometimes? They're just going to put Haley's name on a bottom three stool if she lasts much longer.
Ah, and now we get to Scotty. I've been saying for weeks that he was going to be a disaster when we got to a week that he couldn't go country. I believe I even sited Motown Week as an example, and he didn't disappoint. Wait, he did disappoint. Oh, that's confusing, anyway; Scotty decided to do the classic Stevie Wonder song "For Once In My Life." The problem with this? It was arranged and performed as if it were being sung at a horseshoe pitching contest. It was so cheesy and sad. Poor Stevie. As if blindness weren't enough of an obstacle to overcome, now he has this assault on another of his senses.
Pia came out with her usual diva lighting and evening gown and did a ho hum rendition of "All In Love Is Fair." She really needs to speed it up next week. We all know you can sing ballads, but don't beat us over the head with them. She reminds me more of McPhee every week.
Paul McDonald came out and did the one song Adam Lambert had a restrained performance with, Smokey Robinson's "Tracks Of My Tears." Perhaps it was because my Dad loves Smokey and I used to hear those tunes when I was a kid, but I have an affinity for the song. I was very pleasantly surprised with the spin Paul put on it. He made it a folky James Blunt feel, and I thought it was well done. Definitely the best of the night for me and Paul's best performance over all. I was right in thinking he needs the guitar in his hands. It makes him an artist I'd listen to.
What can I say about Naima? She doesn't sing well, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes when Africa Boombata came out in a Vaudvillian clown's costume to rain dance with her. I have no use for her, and thus little words to say about her.
Adam Lambert's favorite impersonator closed the show with the song - oh who cares? He did his usual mediocre vocal performance followed by wailing business and then bathed in the attention he's so sorely needed. I did get a chuckle out of his Jamiroquai without the conveyor belt dance. It'll be a great day when he goes home.
This was a slightly better performance night than the previous two, but I still care little to none at all about half of the contestants. I'd say I want Paul to win it all, but I have a 50 dollar bet with my sister that he won't. So....go anyone else!
Bottom three prediction: Thia, Stefano and Haley. Thia goes home. Thia, I promise if you survive this week I'll never say you're going home again! Mostly because I'm tired of being wrong.
Elimination Update:
The sideshow continues! Yes, apparently there is nothing like a snarling furball, or saving an 11th place contestant, as the judges decided to use their 'save' (a stupid idea when it was first introduced a few seasons ago that now takes on an even bigger from of ridiculous) on Casey Abrams. In a profanity laced, Hulk Hogan infused results show, the judges supposedly spontaneously stopped Casey 20 seconds into his SINGING FOR HIS LIFE performance to tell him they needed to hear no more, he was saved. Never again can the show claim that its judges do not know the results until Seacrest reads them. There's no way they would magically stop a performance like that unless it was, like most things seem this season on Idol this season, preplanned. So now we get another however many weeks of Mr. Gimmick. Oh, and Thia, you win. I shall never again choose you for elimination. You've got more lives than Jason from Friday the 13th. Tune in next week, when we find out that Lauren Alaina liked Barney as a child, and the purple one himself shows up on the results show while the contestants start up a spur of the moment rendition of "I Love You, You Love Me."
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